Sunday, July 08, 2007
My Shrinking Patience
Just one more of ot "it" and I will finally shatter into bits and pieces that I might be able to glue myself altogether. Things happened, slowly at first then suddenly came pouring and I'm all wet. Fuck. Why do I have to go through this. Why do I have to always care. I hate myself at times and I even cry myself to sleep for caring too much of them and leaving myself empty. I hate it. I hate myself all the more when the people I help turn their backs on me once they will be able to stand on their own two feet. It's ok for me that they will no longer pay too much attention to me after what I sacrifice for them nor they don't want to be with me or being friends with me, but to say things to people against me is more than I can bear. I am a good person and I can extend my patience for as long as I can, but now it's nearing my limit. I am so afraid of myself that when that time comes that I can no longer control myself that I might fight back. That I might hurt the people I used to care and might even still care for. It's been years that I allow you people to step on me but I can not assure you that I won't fight back. Just one more of "it" and you'll see what I am made of. Be careful with what you say because once I break I no longer care.