Hindi ko akalain na alam ko din pala ang magselos. Ewan ko ba at bakit ako'y nagkakaganito. Tapos lagi pa ako nag-iisip ng mga bagay bagay na keso ganito o ganyan. Hay nko, ano na nga ba ang nangyayari sa akin? Alam ko na hindi ito normal kaya nga nagkakagulo isip ko. Lagi na lang ako nagt-txt at tumatawag na parang na papraning. Pero napakasaya ko naman. Kase alam ko na mahal ko 'yong tao at tapat ako sa kanya. Siguro nga lang kase dami naghahabol sa kanya. Bakit nga naman pinanganak sya'ng maganda @ maputi. Pero higit sa lahat na nakakabaliw sa kanya ay ang kanyang ugali at mapupulang mga labi. Hay nko. In-love na naman ako. Heto na naman ako. Pang ilang beses na ito. Sana ito na.
Pero lately medyo napapansin ko na para yata meron nagbago. Ako ba? Sobra na ba pagmamahal ko? O siya? Ewan ko at hindi ko diretsong masagot at sobrang dami na ng tumatakbo sa aking isipan na pilit ko na lang kinalilimutan. Ayaw ko isipin na baka ito pa ay magkakatotoo. Sana hindi. Ayoko. Hindi ko kakayanin.
Sabi nga nila pag mahal mo 'yong tao eh dapat marunong ka mag-trust sa taong ito. Kaya nga pag medyo nagiisip ako at nami-miss ko sya inisip ko na lang sa sarili ko na "I trust you and I love you." Shit ang corny ko na ba? Hayaan nyo na lang ako at masaya lang ako hehehe.
Halo-halong emosyon ang aking nararamdaman sa ngayon at sana akin itong makakayanan. Masaya ako at minsan ay nalulungkot pag sya ay hindi ko kasama. Pero ganyan talaga ang buhay. Ahhhhhhhh basta. Mahal ko sya at sinabi nya na mahal nya ako at 'yon ang importante. Sana hindi magbabago ang lahat.
A friend, Jon, of mine invited me to a birthday party of his friend, who was his former bandmate (yes, nag boy-band sila dati kasama pa nga nya sa group 'yong husband ni Ian). Three of us went to the venue, sa may Timog, and it was a karaoke bar. I am introduced to the celebrant and other people who were there. It was sort of a reunion ng banda because it's been quite a while since they saw each other the last time.
Then some guest were ask to sing and they did. They asked me to sing because they know that I was once a choir member. I did not sing because they are so good. Nahiya ako hahaha. There was this certain lady na sobrang pasaway at nakakatuwa. Tawa kami ng tawa sa kanya. When I was informed that she is a doctor mas lalo ako natuwa sa kanya. Wala talaga hiya sa pinagikagagawa nya. She's so cool and very confident. Lalo na ung kinanta nya ung songs nila Mahal at Mura. You just can't stop sa pagtawa. When the band started singing nako sila na lang pinakanta kase we were awed by their voices. Magblending ba naman at iba't ibang style pa. Parang mini-concert nang nangyari. They are so good at it. Ang galing ng friend ko kumata pakshet! Hahaha.
After the celebration, the three of us went to McDonald's para mag sundae. Then I told Jon na he should teach me how to sing well and he told me, "Why not kung me pambayad ka." He's kidding of course. He told me when he's not busy with his gigs. Grrr. That's next to impossible. I guess I should learn how to sing well by myself then.
I really enjoyed the celebration very much. Sabi pa nga nila, sa uulitin hehehe. Sana when that time arrives magaling na din ako kumanta. Hehehe.
I just received txt messages from one of my not anymore but used to be a friend. Here are some of the messages:
Gud bye salamat sa lahat.
Thanks s magagandang
pakikisama mo. Ingat k n
lng. 22ong last txt ko n i2. U
wil find a bettr friend. God
Bhala ka! U take ur friend 4
grantd. u r on ur own! Gago
Ur a total people pleaser.
I'm not even sure as to why this so called used to be "friend" of mine hated me so much. I'm not even aware what I've done wrong for this "friend" to hate me as much as he hated me now. I even ask this person the night before the txt messages came pouring down my mobile phone if there's something wrong. The person just replied, "No there's nothing wrong. I'm perfectly alright. I'm just tired from the day job." Upon hearing these words I'm confident that there should be nothing wrong, right? I am quite insensitive at times, that I admit, and people who know me accepted me for that. But I won't let myself get to the point hurt a person and would hate me for that. Well, what can I say, each one of us is diffrent but that should not hinder us to know and accept each other for who we are. Sigh. Am I really that bad? Am I?
Two days ago I had a two day seminar with LDS-ERC in Makati re how to prepare yourself for an interview. It was fun and very refreshing. Then yesterday a certain company called and they asked me to be interviewed for a certain job. They told me to come to their office about 10 am and I told them that I am not available in the morning but I am in the afternoon. They scheduled me then in the afternoon.
When I arrived at the vicinity, they asked me to fill out some forms and then the interview began. I was thinking, for fun sake, that I would apply what I learned during the two day seminar. Then the interview started and I applied what I learned and it turn out to be ok - no, great. I had a great time during the interview and I'm sure that the interviewer had as well.
Well I'm not really sure if I really pulled it out and even if I did, I'm not really sure if I want the job. Sigh. Come what may.