Monday, November 28, 2005

Someday I'll be gone

It's seemed so sad to hear these words coming from a love-one, from a partner or from a friend. Last night we were discussing a lot of things, mostly random, until we came to a topic about us. She told me that someday she had to go abroad and work there and eventually the two of us will lose contact and eventually end up not being together but with some other person's arms. She's so sure and seemed so confident that this has to be the path that both of going to take. The only way - separate ways. That fate brings us together for a reason to make us both realize what we want in life and therefore, we must work hand-in-hand to attain what fate has in store for us. I was shocked and seemed that it's the end of the world. I'm totally blank. I felt numbed all over.

After a while, I thought about the things she said and come to realize that if it's the way things should happen, then so be it. Let it come and I'll wait for it realizing that I'm going to lose the very person that makes my world go round. The person that ticks my body clock.

I am very happy with our relationship and couldn't ask for more - maybe longevity or even forever. Yet I know, deep within me I believe her. I believe every word she says. It's been so clear that I refuse to see it. To recognize it because I'm so afraid I'm going to lose her.

Most of us pictures ourselves having our own family and all that. We jump from one relationship to another trying to fill in the blank faces of our wife or husband for that matter, Trying to find the perfect fit. Until we forgot the very essence why we look in the first place.

It's been 10 months since we came to know each other and eventualy becoming a couple. Looking back at all those times, I realized that I love every moment I spent with her and I do not regret that I exerted and gave what I had to make the both of us happy. Yes, I admit that I became selfish at one point or another, but that's just how I do it. That's how I know how to make our relationship work. I also realized that the love is still there and it will last forever, but there are also a lot of things that need to be consider too.

Thus, if the time comes that she had to go away and leave me, I will not stop her. I will even encourage her to go and do waht she must do no matter how painful and hard it may be for me. For I know that sacrificing myself for a greater cause would prove that my love for her is genuine. Leaving with me only the hope that someday if it is meant for us to be together then we must be togethere. Otherwise, I will go on with my own journey and search for the perfect one.

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